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Bubblegum Crisis

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Fanfic [Aug. 8th, 2009|02:34 pm]
Bubblegum Crisis

bgcrisis

[baka_gaijin30]
Fandom: Bubblegum Crisis original OVA

Title: An Ewening With Quincy Rosenkreutz

-An Evening With Quincy Rosenkreutz-

Disclaimer: I do not own Bubblegum Crisis, so please don’t sue me.


Chairman Rozenkreutz, along with Brian J. Mason and several humanoid boomers, watched the monitor as the Knight Sabers were once again surrounded by a group of military grade combat boomers. Chuckling to himself, the Chairman turned off the monitor. "Heh, that's the end of that."

Mason seemed concerned. "Wait just one moment, sir. Shouldn't we leave the monitor on in order to make sure the Knight Sabers are finished off?"

Rosenkreutz looked annoyed. "What do you mean?" he scoffed, "I don't need to see it, I think we can all just safely assume that the boomers, while having failed in the past, will succeed this time. Now let's get going..."

"But... But they could get away," Mason protested, "And why waste good boomers on them all the time? Why don't we just use some missiles with proximity fuses? You know, a fuse that’s preset to explode once the missal is within a predetermined distance from the target. It doesn’t even need to hit one of the Knight Sabers; you could program it to explode once it’s within thirty feet of one of them. It's cheaper, and you'd be more certain of their deaths. Besides, the technology's been around since world war two, and proximity fuses seem tailor made to take out power armor."

The chairman let out an exasperated sigh as he ran his hand through his slicked-back hair. "Mason, you just don't get it do you?"

"But chairman, I..."

"Zip it!"

"But..."

"Zip!"

"The Knight Sabers..."

"Zip!!!"

"You're not listening to me..."

"Zip it! When a problem comes along, you must ZIP IT!!! I've got a whole bag of zip it lined up for you Mason, and I'm not afraid to use it."

As Mason looked down at the floor clenching his fists in impotent rage, Chairman Rosenkreutz and his boomer bodyguards left the room and entered the elevator. Once the door closed, he began to laugh. “Heh, boy did that feel good…”

“Chairman,” one of the boomers began hesitantly, “Mason-san seemed pretty irate.”

The chairman raised an eyebrow at that. “Hmmm… You think I might have gone a bit too far that time?”

The boomer looked nervously over to his companions, “Well… I…”

“(Sigh) Perhaps you’re right. Maybe… Maybe I’ve been wrong all these years, selfishly thinking only of myself and treating others like pawns on a chess board. Maybe I could use some sensitivity counseling. Perhaps… Perhaps it’s time for me to turn over a new leaf and start over.”

The boomer was unsure what to say. “Chairman, are you serious?”

“Of course I’m not serious, you moron!” Rosenkreutz yelled, “Now shut the hell up or I’ll have you turned into scrap metal!”

An hour later, Chairman Rosenkreutz was in the back of his limo, a beautiful full-figured blonde half his age in one arm and a lit cigar in his other hand. As he took a puff, the young woman began to cough and wave the smoke away with her hand.

“(Cough) Rosy-baby, do you have to smoke that thing around me? (Cough) It stinks!”

The chairman narrowed his eyes, “You pumped yourself full of how much botox, silicon and plastic again? And you think my cigar is harmful?”

“(Cough) Rosy-baby…”

“Can’t you just shut up and look good? I mean, that is what you’re here for, and…” His attention was diverted by a sight up ahead of him. A young brunette wearing red leather biker gear was leaving a women’s lingerie store and striding towards her motorcycle parked next to the sidewalk. As he watched her, a smile slowly formed on his face.

“Hey, Rick,” he called up to the limo driver, “I have a favor to ask you…”

--

Priss was exhausted. The military grade boomers she and her fellow Knight Sabers had fought tonight had completely drained her physically and mentally. It didn’t help that it had rained earlier, leaving slick puddles behind and making the mission all the more dangerous. Linna had already taken a cab, and Nene had left on her scooter about ten minutes ago as well. As she picked up her bike helmet and warily put it on, she let out a tired yawn. All she wanted to do was sleep.

As she swung her leg around and straddled her motorcycle, she suddenly heard a car horn. She looked up just in time to see a large black limo swerve towards her, running through a very large mud puddle left behind from the rain. In an instant, both Priss and her bike were soaked.

“You ass hole!” She yelled as the limo sped away, still blaring its horn. She tried to start the bike, but it stalled. “No, no, no, no!!! Raven, you told me you fixed this, you senile old…” Looking back up, she could see the limo turning down a side street and disappearing into the night. “Yeah, run away you little bitch! You’re real funny, you know that? If I ever get my hands on you…”

--

Rosenkreutz was laughing so hard that tears were running down his cheeks. “Ha, ha! Did you, ha, did you see the look on her face? Muwah, ha, ha, ha!”

“(Cough) That was just mean, (Cough).”

Rosenkreutz looked annoyed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. Besides, I don’t pay you to have an opinion, toots, so shut up and relax. The night’s still young, after all.”

“(Cough) Fine, what (Cough), what do you want to do tonight?”

“Same thing we do every night; try to take over the world. Oh, wait, I already have! Muwah, ha, ha, ha!!!”

“(Cough) You’re a real (Cough) ass hole, you know that?”

Quincy’s nostrils flared as he narrowed his eyes at the bimbo sitting next to him…

--

“Great,” Priss growled, “Just my friggin’ luck. Water’s leaked out into the carburetor.” She was kneeling down next to the bike, holding a flashlight in her hand as she looked over the bike. She was about to grab the small tool kit underneath the seat when she heard the sound of tires squealing behind her. Looking over, she saw the same limo as before racing around a corner and speeding towards her once again. She prepared herself to be splashed once again, but instead the limo came to a screeching halt. The back door opened, and a scantily clad blonde in stiletto heels and a mink coat was kicked out of the car, landing butt-first in the mud puddle.

“You jerk!” the blonde yelled as the limo once again sped away, “You jackass, I…”

You!!!” Priss growled, her hands clenching up into fists as she began to stalk towards the soaking wet young woman.

“Eep!” the blonde shrieked as she quickly began to run away, with the irate biker in hot pursuit. “It wasn’t me,” she cried out, “It wasn’t me!”

“I’m going to kick your ass so bad, you’ll be the first bimbo to reach heaven in a wheelchair! Get back here!!!”

--

As the limo driver pulled up to the exclusive penthouse building his boss owned, he looked in the rear view mirror and could see the chairman looking morose. “Chairman Rosenkreutz, you don’t look so good. What’s wrong?”

The chairman took a long drag on his cigar and sighed. “Rick,” he said somberly, “I don’t know. I’ve had a full day of debauchery, making other people miserable and trying to kill armor wearing super heroines, but somehow the day doesn’t feel complete. It’s like… It’s like it’s missing something.”

The driver parked the car and walked out to open the door for the chairman. “I know,” he offered as he held the door open, “You haven’t fired anyone today. That always seems to cheer you up, sir.”

Quincy Rosenkreutz looked thoughtful. “Hmmm… You may have something there. Oh, and Rick?”

“Yes, sir?”

“You’re fired.”

As he turned away from his devastated limo driver, he smiled. “He, he was right,” he said to himself as he entered his building, “I feel better already.”

-End-
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